He Whom My Heart Loves
by Paula McEneany
From Love Serves Vol. 3, No. 1, Eastertide 2008
In the Exsultet of the Easter Vigil, the chanter sings, “Night truly blessed when heaven is wedded to earth and man is reconciled with God!” Then, at Mass on Tuesday of the Easter Octave, we hear the Gospel account of Mary Magdalen’s seeking Our Lord’s body--and meeting Our risen Lord. Pointing to this event, one of the possible readings at Mass on her feast day (July 22) is Song of Songs 3:1-4. The text closes with the touching words “I found Him whom my heart loves.”
God’s love for us and ours for God is imaged nuptially in so many Scriptures. The Song of Songs, poetically tender, is a love story which also represents God’s relationship with the Chosen People,as well as Christ’s union with the whole Church and with each of the faithful. As the Catechism says, “The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath (cf. Eph. 5:26-27) which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist” (1). A traditional Communion hymn beautifully says, “And humbly I’ll receive Thee, the Bridegroom of my soul.”
Religious life is a way of “experiencing a ‘more intimate’ consecration, rooted in Baptism and dedicated totally to God (cf. PerfectaeCaritatis 5)” (2). By their lives for God alone, religious point to heaven, to the wedding banquet of the Lamb, where all present will be united completely to God. They are a sign of the life of heaven where there will be no marrying or giving in marriage (cf. Mk. 12:25); they will be brides of Christ forever and ever.
This is not to speak against marriage, of course. Both religious life and Matrimony are vocations from God, who gives the grace to live them. Awareness of this will be central to the vocation of the Franciscan Sisters of Mary, Queen of Families, who will belong totally to the Divine Bridegroom and will pray and work on behalf of families. “Esteem of virginity for the sake of the kingdom and the Christian understanding of marriage are inseparable, and they reinforce each other: ‘Whoever denigrates marriage also diminishes the glory of virginity. Whoever praises it makes virginity more admirable and resplendent...’ (St. John Chrysostom)” (3).
Marriage is indeed a beautiful vocation, a part of God’s plan for humanity and governed by His laws. The natural desire for it can certainly also be a holy desire. In the New Covenant, Christ raised Matrimony to the dignity of a sacrament (4). As St. Paul explains in Eph. 5, the standard for married couples is the union of Christ and His Church. In turn, the couples are an image of Christ and His Church--as a whole and each of the faithful.
Married couples give a visible reminder to one consecrated to virginity of her union with her Divine Spouse--“Him whom [her] heart loves”--who is invisible to mortal eyes. St. Thérèse wrote of learning from her cousin Jeanne, around the time of Jeanne’s wedding, the delicate attentions a bride can bestow on her bridegroom: “...I didn’t want to do less for my beloved Jesus than Jeanne did for her Francis; true, he was a perfect creature, but he was still only a creature!” (5). St. Thérèse even amused herself by writing an eloquent invitation to her wedding--her spiritual espousals--based on Jeanne’s invitation. This meaningful text is found in Story of a Soul.
St. Thérèse, writing of her fulfilled desire for snow on the day she received the Habit, mused, “What mortal bridegroom, no matter how powerful he may be, could make snow fall from heaven to charm his beloved?” (6). Her Bridegroom could! No human spouse can always think about his beloved, but Christ’s bride is always on His mind. Only He loves His beloved infinitely and will never fail her. Indeed, as they begin their new life together, many lovers pledge to be willing to die for their beloved; but only the Divine Bridegroom has already done so.
Sacrificing the joy of having a visible husband can still be difficult for the young woman following a religious vocation. Actually, though, even married couples cannot find total fulfillment in one another, but only in God. And let us remember that God is infinite, and every person reflects some attribute of God. Thus, there is no potential spouse whose goodness God cannot likewise offer. Even the embrace and the kiss of a lover are, in a spiritual way, not lacking: Our Lord embraces us with His forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance and kisses us in Holy Communion. (While I refer to our reception of the Eucharist as a spiritual kiss, of course He is really and substantially present in the Eucharist.) The spiritual union of Christ with any soul--but in a special way the consecrated religious soul--is fruitful, bringing forth spiritual children.
The Bride of Christ is truly provided for by Him and has the joy of living in His house and making the convent a fitting home for Him, her Eucharistic Lord. To her is also given the joy of always wearing her wedding veil and garment. It is a constant reminder that her Beloved is hers and she is His (cf. Song of Songs 2:16). Each Parish Visitor of Mary Immaculate prays daily as she puts on her habit: “Sweet Jesus, divine Spouse of my soul, while clothing myself with this dear garment of my alliance with You, I humbly ask You, Lord, to preserve unstained the nuptial robe with which You invested my soul on the blessed day of my happy consecration to You” (7).
When she appeared to her parents after her martyrdom, the holy virgin St. Agnes said: “I am so, so happy...with the pure brides of Jesus. And He will have as many brides as there are stars in the sky--young girls who will give themselves to Him in the many years to come. I shall be waiting for them near the God of the pure and the strong!” (8). This is the saint who, as St. Ambrose records, replied to offers of marriage, “To hope that any other will please me does wrong to my Spouse. I will be His who first chose me for Himself” (9).
Again, as it is put in a well-known movie, “The love of a man and woman is holy, too; you must decide how God wants you to spend your love.” Not discounting the inspired words of St. Paul in 1 Cor. 7:32-35 and the undivided heart of a person consecrated in chastity, there is a sense in which authentic love for a spouse is “caught up” in one’s love of God. It is ultimately loving Him--and loving like Him. Self-sacrificing love modeled on that of Christ Crucified is necessary for spouses to live their vocation. Jesus Crucified gives the example of loving “until it hurts,” as Mother Teresa would say.
Selflessness in marriage is particularly shown in life-giving love. The crowning glory of a married couple is the children God may give them, whom they accept in openness to life and train in His way. The spouses share in His greatest work of creation, that of the continuation of the human race (10).
As with marriage, living a religious vocation will only be possible with love proven in sacrifice. Union with the Crucified One, a part of the life of every Christian, is a particular emphasis in the Franciscan charism. While on Mt. Alverna, St. Francis prayed for two graces: first, that he might feel, in his soul and in his body, as much as possible, that pain which Jesus sustained in the hour of His most bitter Passion. Secondly, he prayed that he might feel in his heart, as much as possible, that excessive love with which He was inflamed in willingly enduring such suffering for us sinners (11).
Love stronger than suffering and joy in embracing it come from Jesus in the Eucharist, who is to be the center of the lives of Sisters, of families, of the Church. As St. Francis said of Our Eucharistic Lord, “Look, brothers, at the humility of God and ‘pour out your hearts before Him’ (Ps. 61:9)! …Hold back nothing of yourselves for yourselves, so that He who gives Himself totally to you may receive you totally” (12).
In conclusion, this love story is not lived out solely, and it certainly does not end, on Calvary. There are experiences of Bethlehem and Nazareth, as well as of Tabor--a foretaste of resurrection. And we end this meditation where we began: Jesus, “He whom my heart loves,” is risen! He is inviting us all to the wedding feast of heaven!
Endnotes
1. Catechism of the Catholic Church, ¶1617.
2. Ibid., ¶916.
3. Ibid., ¶1620.
4. Ibid., ¶1602-1603.
5. St. Thérèse, Story of a Soul (Washington, D.C.: ICS Publications, 1996), p. 169.
6. Ibid., pp. 155-156.
7. Sr. Jane Marie, P.V.M.I., “Bridal Gown,” The Parish Visitor, Fall 2007, p. 6.
8. Mary R. Berardi, “St. Agnes,” in Faces of Courage (Boston, MA: Daughters of St. Paul, 1977), p. 35.
9. Liturgy of the Hours, Jan. 21.
10. Cf. Nuptial Mass exhortation.
11. Cf. Little Flowers of St. Francis, Pt. 2, Third Consideration.
12. St. Francis, “Letter to a General Chapter.”
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